i'm reading a new book. anne lamott's traveling mercies, some thoughts on faith. (which i got for $1.80 on amazon.com!) my pastor suggested her to me. since receiving the book in the mail yesterday i've put it down to sleep, pee, and do a little work...and now to post this. thankfully my boss is off today leaving me able to read all day! now i've been told a lot of people have a hard time with miss anne. that she's harsh and not a typical right-wing christian; she not the typical christian writer. and that's for darn sure. in the last year my views on things have changed a lot, not with just my physical life but how i see things in the Bible and such. being raised in a baptist church i was taught things like that speaking in tongues was a rush and not real (i wasn't taught there was a difference between prayer language and shouting all crazy like), and ladies shouldn't be pastors, and that you needed to dress nice and present yourself in a well manner at church, that anointing oil was weird, and that i needed to watch how i talked with God. for the longest time i would get myself hung up on matters like these, and i even today i find myself getting alittle too worried by some of these. when i first started attending my church i was freaked out. i literally thought satan was tricking me in being there and that it wasn't a good church. what feed into these thoughts were they anointed people, the laid hands and prayed, they talked about Jesus' love for us, they brought things on a personal level with Jesus, they talked about healing and miracles...like real miracles! i would literally sit in the services with my head down praying for God to really open my heart and let me see if i shouldn't be at this church, i prayed that i wouldn't fall into any traps or wrong teachings. during all this there was so much conflict in my heart. it felt so good to be there, like water in the desert but that had to be satan tricking me because i was not raised this way! turns out that satan was tricking me, he was feeding me the worries and the confusion. he was playing on what i thought God should be he was working with the vain i had over my heart. the church, now this was where God wanted me and being there almost 2 years now i can see there is no denying He wants he there. they are my family. they accept me for all my ugliness and faults. being in this safe place where i feel no judgment i have been able to dig deeper finally letting Jesus into my heart, and truly have a relationship with Him. once gaining that true relationship i realized i had been living with God in a box. i was picking and choosing what the creator of the universe could and couldn't do. what a slap in the face to my Lord! not only was i putting Him in a box i was missing out on His love because i was to caught up in the rights and wrongs and the b/s. does it really matter if God uses a woman to preach His good word? does it change the teaching or lose value? who am i to put Him in a box?! who am i to tell God He can't use a woman to spread His love?so what God is teaching me is, it doesn't really matter...don't get wrapped up in small details that will rob us of the truth and purpose. don't stand ground and fight against others that love and want to serve Him. now i'm not saying you should throw your discernment out the window and go with the flow, you should always check teachings and such with the God breathed Bible. and i know there are crazy people out there leading others astray, i'm not talking about these kinds of things. i'm talking small insignificant things, things that don't take away from truth, things that don't change Jesus' love. things that don't matter!
be open to what God can do. be open to what He is doing that people try to deny. be open, take that lid off the box and let God surprise you!